Angry Shopper September 17, 2012

I walked into Banana Republic and picked up a shirt I liked.  A sales lady walked over to me and said I shouldn’t like that one, then led me to another area of the store and handed me a different shirt.   I told her I didn’t like it: it wasn’t my style, I didn’t care for the color, and they didn’t even have my size.  She told me I really needed to buy this one anyway and that I should trust her– after all, she’s the professional who does this every day and she really had my best interests at heart.  I was very confused, uncomfortable, and was generally getting pissed off.  If I couldn’t buy the shirt that I wanted, then gosh darnit if I wasn’t going to walk out of that store empty-handed!

When you shop for clothes, what you buy is completely up to you.  You are the consumer.  The options are: consider it longer, take it, or leave it.

Now let’s say you’re in labor (ahhh-HA you’re saying, “NOW I see where this is going!”) and the doctor comes in and says “I know you were planning on buying this shirt but I think you should by another one instead.”  Did you know you have the option to reply, “No thank you, that’s not my style”?  She can continue on with all the reasons why she thinks a different shirt would be best and they may or may not be valid reasons.  However, the end result is in your hands– you are the consumer.  Consider it longer, take it, or leave it?

As a paramedic I am very aware of how this system works.  The patient always has the option to tell me NO to a medication, NO to an IV, and NO to any other treatment I may want to perform (unless the patient is unconscious, then “implied consent” kicks in and I do what I believe is best, based on my training).  If the patient tells me no, I will tell them the reasons why I believe it’s in their best interest to have the drug/IV/splint and they’ll either accept my opinion or not.  While I’ll always do my best to explain the “whys”, I know that I’m always covering my butt as well.  In the medical field, crazy people are always looking for a lawsuit and paramedics/doctors/nurses/etc are all trained to prevent a lawsuit from happening.  That’s why we treat, in most cases, above and beyond “just in case” the worst scenario happens.

So here you are in labor.  If you want nature to take its course and wait for your body and baby to make way for the miracle of birth, your doctor can’t do anything to cover her butt.  She gets nervous that maybe it’s taking too long.  Maybe the baby’s heart rate’s dropping a bit.  Maybe something could go wrong.  What’s the best way to cover her butt?  Convince you that the baby’s health could be in jeopardy and the best course of action is a Cesarean section: a major surgery that requires major recovery.  Yes, C-sections are done in oodles across the nation… but it’s still surgery.

With a C-section, the doctor has every action in her hands.  She gives you the drugs, digs in with the scalpel, pulls out the baby, and ta-da!  Oh yeah, and by this point you’ve already signed all the paperwork to prevent the possibility of a lawsuit.  There’s less opportunity for the baby to become troubled… even though the chance for baby to become jeopardized in the first place was itsy-bitsy.

Don’t get me wrong– there are a lot of scenarios when C-sections are necessary and life-saving.  But the last statistic I saw was that 34% of births in the US are from C-sections.  I’m pretty dumb at math but I know that means if you line up 3 women, at least 1 one of them had a C-section.  Did she need it?  Did she want it?  Did she know that she, as the consumer, had the right to say no and keep on laboring even if that’s not convenient for the doctor’s schedule (assuming baby is safe, of course)?

I’m not angry at people who have a C-section.  I’m not angry at people who will use every drug in the cabinet during labor.  I’m not angry at the doctors who are trying to keep their licenses.  I’m angry at the fact that patients are often misled to approve procedures that make them feel confused, uncomfortable, and pissed off; and usually by leading these patients to believe they may be putting their baby’s health at risk.  After all, there’s no demographic out there more guilt-ridden than a pregnant lady!  You have the right to ask for more information, say NO, and even get up out of bed and walk out the door.

No matter what you choose to be done (or not done) during labor/delivery, you are the consumer and it’s your choice.  The same goes for the dentist, the ambulance ride after a car wreck, the diamond ring, or that gosh darned shirt at Banana Republic.

Know your rights.  Be educated on the options.  Insist on reliable information.  It’s all about being a smart consumer.

It’s Fun To Be ONE!!! September 14, 2012

It’s fun to be one-year-old!

It’s fun to be able to move around at the speed of lightning, pull up on anything and everything, grab at anything within reach, and create havoc!

It’s fun to show an entire range of emotion and personality: delighted, unsure, stubborn, cranky, terribly upset.  But you’re a lucky little boy– you don’t know lonely or neglected.

It’s fun to play games like peek-a-boo, throw-everything-on-the-floor, ram-head-into-Daddy, and fall-on-butt-to-make-people-giggle.

It’s fun to flip through book after book after book after book, sometimes for as long as 20 or 30 minutes at a time.  Will this keep up as you grow?  Or will I be fighting a ten-year-old Trent to “get that book out of your bag and do your homework!!!”?

It’s fun to sing silly songs, even the ones we make up as we go.  It’s fun to dance to music and clap hands!

It’s fun to watch you grow, help you learn, and be one of your favorite people.  It’s fun to watch the smiles you bring to everyone else on this earth.  It’s gonna be fun for years and years and years to come!

Happy Birthday, (not-so) Baby Boy!

 

hi, my name is BRADLEY September 13, 2012

A quote from Todd following the birth of our son: “That’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

Yeah, I have to laugh because he didn’t push the kid out of a tiny hole.  But in all honestly, the entire process was hard for him too– he was involved the entire way, had the huge responsibility of being my ROCK, and had to work really hard to keep me focused and relaxed.  Todd’s a Bradley dad.

After announcing that we were pregnant with Trent, a college friend of mine introduced me to Dr. Bradley’s “Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth.”  She herself had experienced a traumatic first birth, during which she was left uninformed by the doctor she had placed her trust in and ended up with an unnecessary C-section.  While pregnant with her second child, she vowed this birth would be healing– and was successful (with a ton of support!) with a VBAC.  Bradley Method was a huge part of that success and she was excited to share her story with me.

Knowing that this friend was a normal farm girl like myself (as in, not a nutty hippy), I figured this was worth looking into.  Reverting to my student days, I studied up on Dr. Bradley through reading his book Husband-Coached Childbirth and then deciding for myself what I thought of this “method.”  Todd and I were sold, this made sense!  We signed up for a 12-week Bradley course and began our own Bradley journey.  We thought that journey ended with the incredible birth of our son, but now I’ll be continuing that journey by becoming a Bradley instructor so that maybe I can help families in our area of Illinois see birth in a new way.  I’m hoping to be able to start teaching classes in October, after completing my instructor training in Chicago.

Still curious?  Here’s a bunch of great information I borrowed from an instructor’s website, which does a fantastic job describing the method and the classes.  Feel free to contact me!

(The middle-child in me is afraid of people being judgemental of me and wanting to get into arguments about what is best for a woman in labor.  I’m a firm believer that we all have the option to be educated and make our own decisions for what is right for ourselves, regardless of what those decisions may be.)

I want to share this one picture from our birth… I love that man.

Want the BEST start for your baby?
The Bradley Method® series is designed for small classes with a lot of individual attention. The Student Workbook is included and has over 130 pages with over 75 pictures and illustrations.

By taking classes in The Bradley Method® of natural childbirth, you will learn about:

• Prenatal nutrition & exercise

• Relaxation for an easier birth

• Husbands as coaches

• Birth plans and more!

What is The Bradley Method®?
The Bradley Method® teaches natural childbirth and views birth as a natural process. It is our belief that most women with proper education, preparation, and the help of a loving and supportive coach can be taught to give birth naturally. The Bradley Method® is a system of natural labor techniques in which a woman and her coach play an active part. It is a simple method of increasing self-awareness, teaching a woman how to deal with the stress of labor by tuning in to her own body. The Bradley Method® encourages mothers to trust their bodies using natural breathing, relaxation, nutrition, exercise, and education.

How is The Bradley Method® Unique?
          • The Bradley Method® teaches couples ways to stay low risk. While occasionally there are risk factors out of your control, staying healthy and low risk can help to avoid complications. Low risk mothers have more choices.
          • Relaxation is the Key to The Bradley Method® during labor. It is the safest and most effective way to reduce unnecessary pain and to handle any pain that you do experience. While other methods seek to control the sensations of labor (emphasizing distraction as their Primary labor control technique), The Bradley Method® encourages mothers to trust their bodies (emphasizing relaxed abdominal breathing and relaxation throughout labor).
          • The term The Bradley Method® is a registered trademark to ensure you are getting quality childbirth education. All instructors of The Bradley Method® are highly trained to help you learn how to give birth.

What does The Bradley Method® Teach?
          • Natural childbirth – Nearly 90% of Bradley Method® moms having
             vaginal births do so without pain medication.
          • Active participation by the husband/partner as coach.
          • Excellent nutrition: the foundation of a healthy pregnancy and baby.
          • Avoidance of drugs during pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding,
             unless absolutely necessary.
            {No drug has been proven safe for an unborn baby}
          • “Early Bird” Training: weekly classes starting in the 5th month and
             continuing until the birth.
          • Relaxation and natural breathing. According to the National
            Institutes of Health these techniques can be effective pain
            management.
          • “Tuning-in” to your own body and trusting the natural process.
          • Immediate and continuous contact with your new baby.
          • Breastfeeding (beginning at birth) provides immunities and 
             nutrition.
          • Consumerism and positive communications.
          • Parents taking responsibility for the safety of the birth place,
            procedures, attendants, and
            emergency back-up.
          • Parents being prepared for unexpected situations such as
            emergency childbirth and c-section.

Why Natural Childbirth?
The kind of pregnancy, labor, and birth our children experience has a profound and lifelong effect on their health, including their mental, emotional, and physical health. The Bradley Method® attempts to give babies the best possible start in life by teaching how to have a natural pregnancy and a natural childbirth.

How much do classes cost?
$300 for Bradley Method® series of classes. This includes 3 hours of instruction each class, a Student Workbook, handouts, and access to my lending library.

What if I don’t have a “husband?”
All mothers interested in taking a childbirth education class are accepted regardless of your marital status, race, or religion. Because The Bradley Method® trains labor coaching, it is recommended that you bring a support person who will be with you at your birth to class. For example, this person can be your husband, boyfriend, partner, mother, sister, friend, or doula. Everyone is warmly welcome!

When should I start?
Healthy nutrition, appropriate exercise, and pregnancy information can be of benefit throughout the entire pregnancy. For most couples, the fifth month is the suggested time to begin a Bradley Method™ class series as they seriously start training for labor and for their upcoming role as parents. The earlier you start, the better prepared you’ll be physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Dear (1-Year-Old) Trent September 9, 2012

Dear Trent,

In the dim glow of the nightlight, I watched your expression.  You slept peacefully… until I tried to lay you in your crib.  It’s not often that you become needy, and tonight was uncommon.  Instead of gripping your beloved puppy, you held onto me.  Yes, I had a list of things I wanted to get done as soon as you were laid to bed; but I took that moment to soak you up instead.

I’m proud of myself for stealing this time with you, but not nearly as proud as I am to say that this wonderful little person is mine.

You are a bouncy-ball of energy, springing from one activity to the next.  Toys and books and everything else are overturned in your wake.  But you’re our tiny tornado.

Your nose is a constant drip, a reminder of the teeth tugging through your gums that are also making you a bit cranky.  But you’re our cranky, snotty kid.

You’ve discovered everything from your pointer finger to your little-man-parts, making diaper changes a miniature circus act.  But you’re our circus monkey.

You’re becoming more and more confident on your feet, pulling up onto every piece of furniture and reaching towards all the “stuff” I naively thought was out of your reach or completely boring to you.  But you’re our little dinosaur.

Every day brings you new abilities and discoveries, and the last three hundred sixty-five days of you in our lives have certainly defined “new” in a new way.  You are a blessing in more than 365 ways and I love you more than 365 million tons!

Cheers to our 1-year-old son: our tornado, our monkey, our T-Rex, our daily blessing.  The next 365 days are guaranteed to be a blast.  You are a lucky little boy with love coming at you from every direction.  But we are the luckiest—Daddy & I get to say, “That little boy is mine!”

Happy Birthday Trent!  I love you!

Love,

Mommy

Put Me In The Zoo September 4, 2012

In honor of Trent’s first trip to the zoo, I present to you his favorite zoo-themed book: Put Me In The Zoo by Robert Lopshire (a Dr. Seuss Bright and Early board book).

I will go into the zoo.  I want to see it.  Yes, I do.

We do not want you in the zoo.  Out you go!  Out!  Out with you!

Why did the put me out this way?  I should be in.  I want to stay.

Just wait and see what I can do.  Look!  Now all his spots are blue!

And now his spots are orange!  Say!  He looks very good that way.

Now look at this!  What do you see?  Spots as green as green can be!

Violet spots!  Say!  You are good!  Do more!  Do more!  We wish you would.

I can do more.  Look!  This is new.  Blue orange, green, and violet too.

Oh!  They would put me in the zoo, if they could see what I can do.

We like all the things you do.  We like your spots, we like you, too.

But with all the things that you can do, the circus is the place for you!

Yes!  This is where I want to be!  The circus is the place for me!

Husband & Wife

We became friends, began dating, fell in love, got married.

For a year, we were Husband & Wife.  Together we enjoyed quiet dinners, random naps, sporadic work schedules, road trips with friends.  (Read about our first 365 Days HERE!)

Then we became Daddy & Mommy.  Whoa, what a change.  Instead of quiet dinners, we aim our efforts towards filling a baby’s belly and trying to minimize the number of Puffs on the floor.  Instead of random naps, we take turns handing off the T-Rex and trading chances at shut-eye.  Instead of sporadic work schedules, we pretty much stick to our days because our priority is a miniature man and not money.  We’ve still managed a road trip with friends, but not without the unavoidable guilt and few-too-many phone calls to check on the wee one.

We sit together, watching the stuff inside our house get spit-up on, dribbled over, dropped, smacked, and distorted.  We smile, we laugh, we make jokes about the nice stuff we used to have—and the nice stuff we may someday acquire many years down the road.

Twenty-some years from now, we’ll sit together in a quiet house surrounded by whatever stuff survives.  The kid(s) will have moved on, reverting us back to Husband & Wife.

My wish for us is that we’ll still know those roles as well as we’ll know how to be Daddy & Mommy.  You’ll still be the undeniably handsome fella carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, with a laugh that makes me laugh and a twinkle in your eye that give me butterflies.  And I’ll still be so ticklish that you’re better off not sitting too close to me, with a stack of magazines I’ll never get through and the ability to fall asleep just about anywhere.

We’ll never again be exactly who we were when we said “I do” two years ago, but we can always and forever choose to say “I do” to loving each other and building our life together.

I do.  I love you.  Happy Anniversary Husband (who just so happens to be an incredible daddy too)!!!